penalties | ♢ ic inbox

Ah. That's...
Yes, I can certainly see how it would be.
For what it's worth, then, I am sorry. Really and truly.
Not that it happened in the first place, perhaps, but that it happened quite like that...?

Regardless, that wasn't why I came to you today.
It concerns a world - no, several - that you never lived in. At least, not the you I speak to today.
It's entirely possible none of those worlds even truly existed to begin with.
But when we last talked, I couldn't say that for sure.

Knowing all that, do you still wish to hear me out?
I want to apologize. But I don't want to add unnecessarily to your burdens.

[ it's oddly mature, for satoko. a strangely thoughtful stipulation to add. and if mion's sharp on the ball, perhaps she might realize it has something to do with beato's panicked messages from the night before. ]

Good.

Whether those worlds existed or not isn't important. And even if I don't remember any of it, I'm always willing to represent Sonozaki Mion's feelings - especially for the ones that can no longer say anything.

So even if it's a made up story, it's something that's important to the Satoko that is speaking to me, and for this old geezer, that's enough.

And I'd be willing to hear you out, for as much as you're willing to tell me. There is nothing unnecessary about talking with me, Satoko, no matter how trivial it may seem, or how difficult it may be to say it. After all, if I simply dismissed you and said that I didn't want to hear you out, what kind of leader would I be? Not a very good one, that's for sure.

So tell me as much as you want.
I'm always here to listen.

I can't say I'm surprised, though I'm not sure I'm grateful.
In truth, I'm not really sure I want to say anything.
But it feels as though you know enough already that to remain silent would be another lie.
So...

I suppose I'll start with this.
The last time we spoke, I'd seen less than Rika.
That's no longer the case.
I can tell you every detail of how things come to pass.
I can tell you that in the end, neither one of us get what we truly want.

And... I can tell you that death isn't necessary to move between worlds.
Perhaps it never was. I wish I'd known sooner. I don't know how many centuries it took to realize that.
Either way, the Satoko Hojo you drove to Hinamizawa is still alive.
Even if that me isn't me any longer, either.

All I know is what you, Rika-chan and Kei-chan have told me...
And the memories I have of a certain world that I gained during that regression.

You say you can tell me, but the question is this: do you want to? Something that has happened in the past, whether it involves another Sonozaki Mion or not, that doesn't matter to me. If you've understood and learned what you did was wrong and plan to atone for that, that's all I can ask for. I don't need to know everything about your past. We're friends after all, aren't we?

[Those are words that she's also said, in another Fragment--one that Mion herself doesn't exactly remember; that she doesn't need to know everything about a person to be their friend.]

But I see.
Even if that Hojo Satoko isn't you, you still exist as well.
And you're the Hojo Satoko that I've gotten to know here, right?
Even if there's something different now, even if it means I have two Hojo Satokos as my friend now...
I think that's fine.

You remember a fragment? Which one?
Or...
Perhaps I shouldn't ask. I just hope it wasn't one of the worst ones.
If you need someone to speak to, though, I'll be here as always.

[ mion's words ring all too closely. she's said them before, after all - long ago, in a fragment she watched some centuries ago. satoko can't help but smile, just a bit - even though the next words she writes are enough to wipe it away. ]

That's why I feel as though I should apologize.
I don't want to do those things again. I don't ever want to hurt someone so precious to me again. If there is a way to atone, I want to take it. I want to try to live as a girl should, for a while.
But at the same time...
A part of me knows it'll never be quite be right.
And that same part makes me wonder if atonement is even possible.
How does one make up for cruelty another never even experienced?

For me, it was an awful one. But a horrible world is... subjective, I suppose. Not that I have much else to compare it to.

[She knows there's a world out there where Kei-chan killed her and also that there's a world where he killed Teppei but she only knows those vague details and nothing too descriptive of those worlds. And if she doesn't really care for asking about them, either.]

I think atonement is possible.
I mean - sure, perhaps I didn't experience it myself, but... this old geezer's been through a lot, you know? I'm sure we can come up with something together.
And if I can't figure something out, then that's something that you can probably ask someone else. There might be someone out there that has a better answer for you than I could ever offer.
But at the very least, I am willing to try my best. For a friend.

All worlds end, one way or another. The most one can do is hope for a kind journey there.

[ it's the first time satoko's age has really shown, saying that. she is so, so much older than she seems. but she's still undoubtedly satoko - that's all she can really hold onto, now. ]

And... if you think it's possible, then I'll trust you.
You told me to talk to you before, didn't you? So here I am now.
And if you can't figure it out, Mion, I can't imagine anyone would.
After all, how would someone else know?
Even if there's nothing I can do to make amends for what I've done to you

To everyone, really.
At least I'll have made an attempt.
It's a start.

[There's a bit of a pause on Mion's end before she types out the following:]

It's the same with a lot of other things, too.

[Even if Satoko may or may not realize that due to how she's handled things...]

Ahaha! I don't know about that one, Satoko. Kei-chan might have a bit more insight on that sort of thing than I would.

[Since it's clear to her that he remembers about the other worlds a lot more than she does. But maybe that's for the best.]

Do you want to meet in person? Probably better to convey stuff this important that way than through these devices.

I suppose you're right about that, too.
And I've no doubt Keiichi-san would have some good ideas about how to move forward...
But the only person that can answer for you is you, I feel.

I think I'd like that, yes.
Shall I come to visit? Or would you prefer to meet over here?

Well! That's certainly true.

You can come over; I'll make the best tea we have. I'll also make sure to tell Kei-chan and Rena that you're showing up as well. We can use one of the guest rooms for our talk.

Oh, please, I'm hardly so classy as that!
In case you forgot, Rika was the one who adapted to such delicacies.
But if you insist, I suppose I can't refuse...

[ and sure enough, it's about a half-hour later that a knock comes at the door. satoko's chosen to dress down for the occasion, it seems - comfy overalls, a hoodie, and a circle pendant. ]

Mion-san!

[And in that time, Mion's definitely getting herself prepared for her guest—making some tea, not that it's anything special this time around, a plain green tea—along with some simple handmade desserts that she places on the table of the guest room.

When she opens the door, Mion isn't in her usual Japanese wear that she'd have on while she's at home, but rather she's made herself a little more comfortable in a sweater and ripped jeans, even wearing the circular pendant around her neck.]

Yooo, Satoko. Nice outfit, by the way. Come in, come in~ You can't keep this old geezer waiting forever, otherwise my back might just go out!

[It won't because she isn't actually an old geezer and she's actually really healthy.]

Edited 2021-10-15 07:20 (UTC)

[ well, this is a surprise, isn't it? satoko makes a surprised, faux-outraged gasp as mion opens the door. ]

Mion-san, not clad in an obi? My, how scandalous! [ a brief laugh - of the classic satoko variety, at that. either she's feeling better than she has in a while, or she's gotten very good at hiding her problems. ] Come now, let's get you to a table. I can't imagine Keiichi-san and Rena-san would be pleased if you broke your hip...

[ satoko glances at the pendant as she passes by, but doesn't comment any further on it. and for a moment, she simply... stops in the foyer. she takes a second to look around - really look around. after a moment, she chuckles. ]

I was worried I'd forget the place. But it really is just as I remember, isn't it?

It's my house, I can wear whatever I want.

[Well, technically, the house is under Kei-chan's name, but what's his is hers in this particular case. But whether the laugh is genuine or not - that's something either Mion will have to find out herself.

Mion mirrors it with one of her own, clearly in jest.]

They'd definitely make fun of me or worry way too much... even an old man like myself wouldn't be able to take it! Ahaha!

[Nevertheless she does start to lead the way, although her feet stop when Satoko herself does, shutting her eyes a little thoughtfully when Satoko comments on how things look as she remembers.]

Well, we wouldn't change things too quickly. --'Cept for that room, over there.

[She points out at one of the rooms, which has a cute 'do not enter' sign on door.]

We might just need to renovate and expand for that room alone, if you ask me. But that's not what you came here for. C'mon.

[To the guest room!]

As expected of Rena-san. I hope you still have space in your room, hmm?

[ she doesn't even need to ask to whom that handwriting belongs. she just chuckles, shaking her head as she tries to get resettled. to mion, it's only been a few weeks - but for her, it's been much longer, hasn't it? so, so much longer. but there's no need to bring that up now. besides, they'll be talking about similar things soon enough, won't they?

she follows mion to the guest room, sitting when prompted and exhaling deeply. after a moment, she smiles - a bit gentler, a bit more grateful. ]

Thank you for meeting like this. [ a pause. her eyes drift down to the sweater, to that pendant once again. ] And- your outfit does look lovely on you.

[ "lovely" - there's that word again. the same word she called mion so often, just a bare week or two ago. the same word she called mion in centuries past. but if she means it to fluster or to mock, there's certainly no trace of it in her expression. she gestures to the pendant with that same little smile. ]

Did Keiichi-san or Rena-san buy you that, by chance?

Well, Rena's the only one with a separate extra room--we usually just share a room, the three of us.

[The room's decoration and interior design were all her and Kei-chan, but the contents...? Are definitely all Rena's. But she shakes her head and smiles, something fond.]

Of course. You're an important friend of mine, just like the rest of the club--

[And then she pauses the moment Satoko mentions the outfit and uses that specific term and it makes her cheeks burn a bright scarlet, rubbing at the nape of her neck sheepishly.]

Ahaha. Thanks, but - no. Not this time. I just bought a lot of accesories and threw something together; it's nothing special.

[ she thinks, for a moment, of how rena reacts to her space being invaded. she thinks of the worlds that rena nearly brought to ruin; she thinks of injecting rena, and how she single-handedly brought ruin onto another broken fragment. ]

...perhaps that's for the best. She needs her space every now and then, doesn't she? More than the rest of us, at least. [ when mion reassures her, she smiles wholeheartedly once more. and when mion answers her question in the most modest fashion possible, she huffs audibly. it's not quite in line with the genuine compliment she just gave, but it's certainly very her to do so. ] Well, as long as they buy you something. But if I ever catch wind that either of them has been taking you for granted, I'll never forgive them! Though you may be our geriatric club president, you are a lady, and they would do well to keep it in mind!

[ it's a controlled outburst - she doesn't seem like she's speaking in passion so much as allowing herself to be as loud as ever. but when she finishes and looks down to the ground, silent and contemplative, it's like a switch has been flipped. like a different person is sitting before mion.

she doesn't say a word. she just... thinks. ]

Edited 2021-10-18 02:00 (UTC)

Ahaha. I suppose in that aspect, it's true...

[Although she still remembers those first few days, and how lonely she was. How she missed her father, the only family she had in her life, and the fact that she was taken away from someone so important to a world like this... well, Mion knows how terrifying it is, even if she plain outright doesn't show it.

But maybe that's because she's used to being independent.

Even if in some ways, she's also dependant--because she cares too much.]

The two of them got me plenty of things for my birthday, and I'm certain that they'll get me something for Christmas, too. It's not like I ask them for much.

[She smiles, but there's something a touch melancholic behind it this time, strangely enough.]

I'm spoiled enough by the two of them as it is. And that's enough for me.

[In any case, when Satoko finishes, stops, and there's a shift--it's noticeable. And in some ways, something familiar. Not in a way that it's something that she's seen Satoko do before, although she's sure that this is just how she is now, but rather it's something that she's seen in herself.

And that change... well, Mion isn't going to say it's bad, even though a part of her does wish that it didn't have to be this way.]

Anyway, take your time. I'm in no rush — I know words can't possibly come easy.

Edited (wow i lost my train of thought.) 2021-10-18 04:36 (UTC)

[ spoiled enough, hmm? mion mentioned remembering a timeline of her own. and while she can't possibly guess which of the endless repetitions that might have been...

well. she makes a note to ask a favor of keiichi and rena. after all, if this is the world she intends to stay with for now, it'd behoove her to act properly for it. she stays silent as mion responds, only speaking up when mion says that last bit- ]

The words aren't particularly difficult. Perhaps it'd be easier if they were.

[ her voice is calm, even - almost clipped in its diction. ]

You said you remembered one, didn't you? A fragment unlike your own. [ she closes her eyes, breathing at that same measured pace. she never panics; she never falters. ] Who was it that killed you, if you remember? Keiichi-san? Shion-san? Me, perhaps?

[ a quick exhale through her nose - less like a laugh, more like a sigh. ]

Why not start there? One solitary death. Possibly calculated, and possibly not. How should your murderer make amends for that?

I see.

[Mion immediately drops the casual tone, immediately sliding into the more serious tones of what is befitting of the heir of the Sonozaki family. Pressing her lips together, she pours herself a cup of tea - simple green tea, taking a drink of it herself before speaking up.

But then she lists three names.

Kei-chan, Shion and then... Satoko herself.

The implications are there, of course.

And... she already knows that Kei-chan killed her in a world, once. His shadow had spoken as much, and she already forgave him for that and showed him in a way only the two of them could that it was fine, if they stayed together, even if he had grown paranoid to the point where he thought that he had to kill her. Where he thought that she was a genuine threat to him.

Her emotions are cool as she shuts her own eyes and recalls those memories -

It feels like so long ago, now.]

I don't think the 'who' matters in this particular case. Or rather... it's not something that involves you, Satoko, if that's what you're wondering.

[She doesn't plan on outing Shion, even if Satoko may be aware of what happened. Perhaps it's out of respect for her older sister, or maybe it's because in that particular case...

...she pitied her.

"I saved Kei-chan, just like you wanted. And you said I could kill you instead, right?"

"If you kill me......that will avenge Satoshi?"

"If you know that much, then you must be ready for it. Fall down there and apologize to Satoshi."]

There's no need for that person to make amends if I've already forgiven them from the very start, right? I understood why they did what they did and, well... I accepted it.

Edited (oops missed a d, and a word) 2021-10-18 06:14 (UTC)

[ she nods in acknowledgment when mion calls her out. she's right, after all - that is what she wanted to know. she's still curious as to the particulars, of course, but those are less important and less appropriate to ask about. ]

Then that's one taken care of. [ her eyes open. she looks directly into mion's eyes - unflinching, unrelenting. ] Another, then. One you don't remember. Perhaps Takano-san shot you before Rika's perfect miracle. Or perhaps this time, one of those horrid Mountain Dogs caught you before we could all escape.

[ her voice doesn't grow any more passionate; it is neither mocking nor sympathetic. it simply... is. ]

Have you forgiven those people, too? Or is there something left for them to do?

Takano-san, huh...

[There isn't even the barest hints of surprise in her expression, just simply acceptance. Of course, she knew that if Takano had failed in her supposed mission in the world that she does recall, there had to be plenty of other worlds where she succeeded.]

The Takano-san from the world I'm in has done her atonement over the years. That's enough for me. But - in the off chance that she did shoot me, or if any of her goons had caught me... I would need to know the context for that, wouldn't I? Simply knowing that I was killed is one thing, but I'd need to understand the meaning behind it.

And if the context was even more damning? Perhaps you were simply in her way. Or perhaps she was bored. Perhaps she simply wanted to know how the vaunted club president would react in such a situation.

[ perhaps satoko isn't speaking about takano any longer. ]

When one's hands are as dirtied as hers- [ -ours- ] -they cease to be human. Knowing that, would you still want to understand?

...

[Mion's frown deepens at the way Satoko speaks about the situation. Is she really talking about Takano any more?]

I don't agree with that. That... even if someone has done many atrocious things, that they stop being human. They did those things because they were human in the first place, after all.

[She knows Takano is.

She knows Satoko is.

And she knows that Beatrice - no, Sayo - is.

That's why she can say that with full confidence, even if they may refer to themselves as anything less - or more - than human.]

But - yes. Maybe our views don't align... but that doesn't mean I won't stop trying to understand.

Edited 2021-10-18 16:06 (UTC)

[ satoko stays quiet as mion speaks. a part of her disagrees with mion, of course. how could a human do what she'd done? no, this was the domain of witches altogether. humans could kill and hurt one another, but witches were the ones who played games for lives. to do what she'd done, with no remorse or guilt... it was inhuman, pure and simple.

and an equal part of her wants desperately to agree. she only did what she did to try and hold onto rika - in a twisted, sick way, yes, but the intent was the same nonetheless. she lost track of that along the way, but that doesn't make her any less human, does it? even now, thinking of mion's body in the sonozaki halls, of shion's strangled corpse... it sickens her. the wounds are still fresh, even after this long.

the witch named satoko hojo falls silent. the human named satoko hojo stays quiet. and when someone finally speaks, it is just satoko hojo - the girl satoko hojo, all superfluous parts stripped away. or perhaps all those parts have folded back into a whole, just for a moment. ]

I... I hurt so many people, Mion-san. More than you could possibly comprehend. [ her voice wavers as she speaks. ] I don't think I can give you context for all I've done. There simply isn't enough time in the world.

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-> action?

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umineko spoilers here too, just a little

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